Is praise kink the new dirty talk?

I've seen a bunch of posts about praise kink recently. 

And from what I can see, culturally, I think we've reached a point where the hottest thing someone can say to you is not actually something deliberately provocative or explicit, but something really simple:

"Good Girl"

"I'm proud of you"

"You're doing so well"

Which is funny, because at some point, reassurance becomes seductive and I don't think that's an accident. 

We are living in a time where every interaction is measured and calculated. Performance reviews at work. Being chronically connected online. A Pilates class. These are all opportunities that we use to compare ourselves to others; constantly feeling perceived but not always seen. 

Is that why praise hits different now?

I am not saying compliments are rare, but I think being genuinely acknowledged by another person feels intimate. I also don't think a praise kink can be simplified into being someone who just likes compliments either, because praise isn't really the point? I think it's attentiveness. It's the feeling of someone knowing the exact right words to encourage you, or when to reassure you, or what words will make your shoulders drop an inch.

Sometimes it's teasing, sometimes it's confidence. Sometimes it's someone being direct. 

And I think this is indicative of how the feminine gaze is shifting (anyone pick up a mafia romance recently? 🥵)

For ages (forever?) popular depictions of kink were built around intensity. Everything was black leather, heavy hardware and intimidating aesthetics. It's so serious! What I'm discussing here is a different kind of visual language: one that's softer, prettier, a little more playful. 

I love the thought that beautiful objects can hold unexpected meanings. That the things we surround ourselves with can be playful, decorative and just a little mischievous. A paddle doesn't have to look intimidating to feel powerful. Sometimes it's prettier because it doesn't.

Praise feels similar.

It's gentle on the surface, but emotionally it can be incredibly intense. Is that why it feels so exciting? Maybe we are all a little emotionally underfed, lol.

I guess the popularity of praise kink says less about kink than it does about the kind of intimacy we are craving. Is that what good dirty talk has always been? Just saying things that makes someone feel wanted?

The deepest impressions have never been the filthiest. They're just the ones we believed ❤️

TLDR: compliments are foreplay mon chéries. ✷